Cooking!

Well today I indulged in one of my passions. I LOVE to cook! I have been exploring the idea of cooking once a month and freezing meals.  I started with chili, which for some reason, I have never actually made. So weird, right? But once I got started with it I didnt stop I *sort of kind of * followed a recipe but not really. I learned today that I dont know how to cook pinto beans, I had beans on hand but not for cooking. I use them for crafting (another passion of mine that we get into later). So I did what any grown woman does, I called my mommy. She really didnt know how to quick cook them either so I went online and figured it out.

So I had my base, added ground beef, then started thinking about what else would be good in there. Salsa? sure why not? Tomato paste, yep thats good. A little of this, some more of that and there ya go. It sure smells good!

I figured since I was working on things I didnt know about or was not very good at I would try to tackle meatballs. I make awesome meatloaf but for some reason I make meat squares, not meat balls. But I found a recipe online (Thank you Alton Brown!) and it it actually worked!

And then, since you cant have chili without corn bread I made my all time favourite corn bread. Its a recipe from a little place called Maine Diner in Wells Maine. If you ever find yourself in Wells you have to eat here! Then go next door to the gift shop and buy the cookbook (another passion of mine for another day). Their recipe is by far the best corn bread I have ever had but I had to some adapting. Wells is probably at about 5 FT in Elevation, I'm at about 5300.  So what works for them doesnt always work for me. After a little tweaking adding a little more milk and a little more flour and cooking it a little longer it comes out amazing! The bread isnt as fluffy as it is close to the ocean, but its still the best!

So today was a learning experience for me. I conquered some long standing cooking fears and feel pretty good about it. 

New journeys and old

"So how are you doing on your New Years resolutions?" How many times do we hear that towards the end of January? Most of us greet that with a groan because, hey lets face it, the intention was there and motivation was strong just a few short weeks ago but that fades and the changes that didnt become a habit are swept under the rug.

I turn 40 this year. I really dont mind getting older I see each year as a gift from God so the number doesnt mean anything to me. What does bother me though is how *I* have become unimportant in my own view. How did that happen? I used to care about myself, my body, how I felt about things. Being a mother and a wife and all of the other roles I have assumed over the years have swallowed up who I was. Now that may sound selfish but that is far from my intent. One of my resolutions this year was to get into better shape, not only physically but spritually as well. I put a number on the physical part, 40 for 40 that was, and is, my goal. I am working towards that and I do believe I will get there.

The spiritual part is hard to put a number on though. I want to grow Spiritually, I want to feel closer to God. Then to borrow a much used statement, I want to find myself. I know that I cant find myself though without growing spiritually because one is dependent on the other. Its who I am.

So today I start my journey back to me.

New commitments.

Well I have 23 months until I hit 40. Why is this so important to me? Not only is a huge milestone in age, its a health milestone for me. I want to be healthier and I have tried so many times before. I woke up a couple of days ago and decided that 40 is my goal. I cant change when I turn 40

Homschooling, can I really do this?

So I have been informed that doing virtual school is not ACTUALLY homeschooling. Hey they're home and they're doing school here. Its homeschooling.

It means that I have to do some major adjustments. I am fine with that for the most part. It will mean that I will have to get help on the days when I am working in the schools but thats ok. It also means I wont have as much free time. That is probably for the best though. I have had some time to think about these things and I think I can make it work, until we move at least I have a lot of help.

I am a little nervous though about a few things. Socially I dont know if Im doing the right thing? Given how badly my girls were bullied last year it makes me NOT want them to socialize with a lot of kids. We love our friends dearly and of course will keep up with them but as for the general population of their school last year? No way.

I worry that I will be too controlling, I dont want that for my kids. I want to be the best parent I can be for them and guide them but I dont want to rule their lives.


I do think it will be good for them though. I want it to be good for them. They're excited which means something, right?

they say that change is good.

Well if that's true then I am absolutely fantastic!

I have moved around most of my life, being a pastors kid you don't get a lot of other options. We moved the first time when I was just a few months old and kept going from there. I always joked that I was part gypsy but I think there is some truth to that.

We have been in this town now for 12 years which is by far the longest I have ever lived anywhere. Now its coming to an end. My husband was promoted (yay) and we are moving 1000 miles away. Part of me is ready for the adventure but now that I have kids of my own, I worry about them. I always enjoyed picking up and moving to a new place. I could start all over. No one would know that I fell off the monkey bars at my school and my parents had to come and get me. Or that I had a huge crush on the most popular boy in school and he lived to torment me. I could be whoever I wanted to be and no one would know I was ever anything else. Of course it didn't always work out like that. Once a klutz always a klutz. Somethings follow you no matter where you go.

but how will my kids take it? Will they enjoy a new adventure? I have certainly made it seem like a grand adventure, we have visited our new town and they all seem to like it. The difference though is this is really the only town they have ever known. My son was born in Canada but we moved very early in his life, my girls have never lived anywhere else though.

So how do I make this easy on them? How do I make it the transition without worrying them? We have talked about it, we have looked online at different things to do and they seem excited. Then it starts to sink in that they will be not be with Nana anymore and they wont be able to see their same friends everyday.

To help offset this, since we will likely be moving after school starts, I have decided to home school them for the first semester. Otherwise I would have to start them in a new school here and then pull them out and start them again in our new town. Who knows? maybe they will like it and decide that we want to keep it up? But for now we are doing it to make sure they can get through the transition period a little easier. We can take our time in a our new house and find the school that fits them best if we decide not to continue homeschooling.

We are also very involved in our church here. My husband and I volunteer in the youth department and our kids love being there. Finding a church like this one is going to be tough. We really feel like they are family for us.

Some days I feel really overwhelmed by all that I am facing. I wonder how it is ever going to feel "normal" again. Other days I feel much more confident and know that whatever happens will be in Gods timing and not mine.

So like the title says "If change is good, I'm fantastic!"